Our Trip to the Redneck Riviera

So Alan and I were craving some redneck riviera this past weekend and we headed up to Myrtle Beach. We both had Thursday and Friday off from our normal weeks: Alan's Fall Break and I took some much needed vacation. Did we want to go to the Mountains or the Clemson game? Nope, we wanted pancake houses and putt-putt.

Our trip got a later start that we meant for it to due to us sleeping in (couldn't resist it and the cats were begging us not to go), but we arrived at the very high-class Days Inn on "the strip" of Myrtle Beach. Reluctantly, I let Alan reserve a handicap room earlier in the week so that he could have a king-size bed. I'm married to a beanstalk, remember? But I just felt this guilt of "what if a real handicapped person wanted to stay here and they can't because we have their room?" We got over that real quick on the first night when we were both able to stretch out and not fight over bed space. The only downside to our room was the strong, overpowering odor that hit us every time we walked in the door. Our clothes still smell like our motel room since we got them home, but at least our room had freshly cleaned carpet, right? I seriously wanted to gag every time we walked in the door. I guess the king size bed and not having to step into the shower were worth it though.

Myrtle Beach has the strangest and most interesting tourists I have ever seen. It was a people watcher's delight. Not ironically, we saw the biggest people ever at the "all you can eat seafood buffet." It was sad. But we ate our weight in crab legs and butter which was awesome. We saw tough bikers getting henna tattoos on the sidewalks. I was really hoping they were getting tramp stamps, but they weren't. We saw old men in Speedos and a lady made of pure leather on the beach. We saw lots of fringe and jean shorts, or "jorts," if you will, on everyone. I think we stuck out like a completely normal sore thumb, or maybe those people thought we were the strange ones. I wonder if they were thinking "Are those people from the future or is that what people in the real world look like? And, wow, that girl is hot and that guy is tall!" Who knows?

The hotels there look like they have not been touched since 1971. There are some hole-in-the-wall places with lots of decorative iron work on the balconies. I felt like I was in the movie Shag, and Alan was my Buzz Ravenel. I really want to watch that movie again.

Anyway, the trip was a nice departure from the real world. The next time we're craving 1971 shelter, 1988 attire, mullets, and a flashback to Senior Week, we'll know where to go.